How to talk to your children about the war  in Ukraine 

In this strange and (honestly quite worrying) times it is incredibly difficult to comprehend what is happening in the world – even for adults. I believe we are all feeling this sense of misunderstanding and questioning why this terrible thing is happening, Imagine how all of this must feel to your young children who not only hear about these terrible things happening, see the concern in our faces or notice the hushed voices when the news comes on but also have no idea at all what is happening. Many of them only know that there is something terrible happening somewhere far away, but that the terrible thing is scaring lots of people.

So how do you talk to your children about the war in Ulkraine when they are unable to understand exactly what is happening? 

Some older children may have a slight grasp on what is happening, questions like, ‘why is Russia fighting Ukraine?’, ‘What is the war about‘, ‘Will there be a war here?’ May arise and these are difficult questions to answer. The truth is there is not just one simple way to explain the war between Russia and Ukraine – what works for a five year old will not explain it in any depth to a twelve year old. 

Dr Jane Gilmour has recently expressed how vital it is to be honest in these times, if questions are left unanswered it’s likely your children will fill the gaps themselves and this could leave them with additional anxieties. While I hate to admit it, it is often that children fill in the blanks with worst case scenarios. 

In all situations we are told to acknowledge how stressful this is, for everyone (including your child) and that many countries are working together to help stop this horrible thing from happening whilst also expressing empathy for the vulnerable people who are suffering at this time. 

When beginning this discussion with your children it is important to ask ‘what do you know’ rather than make assumptions. Some children may be concerned schools will close (especially considering the recent pandemic or that they themselves are in danger. 

For young children these facts need to be delivered in simple terms that they can understand (for example one child is bullying another and this is NOT okay) in order for them to pick up on the nature of what is happening rather than the politics of it all.  It is also vital that this discussion is held intently and that it is carried through completely. It should not be something that is spoken of when there are distractions available and it is important to ensure your child is listening when you explain otherwise thoughts may be mixed up and fears may arise that are maybe not rational. 

Overall, it is really important that children understand what is happening in a way tailored to them in an analogy or terms that they understand as this will not be the same for every child. 

For anymore information on this difficult subject, the link below shares a lot of incredibly helpful information on this topic: https://www.hellomagazine.com/healthandbeauty/mother-and-baby/20220228134226/how-to-talk-to-children-ukraine-russia-news/