Pregnancy story by Sophie
Welcome to the fourth and final post written for you by real Mum’s to be. Each article will share the pregnancy story of one Mum to be, who will each share their labour and delievary experience when baby arrives. I hope that these real life accounts of pregnacy will help other expectant Mum’s to feel secure in the knowledge that the things they experience and feel during their pregnancy are all normal events and emotions and part of the journey to motherhood.
Sophie’s Pregnancy story
Today we meet Sophie, a first time Mummy to be.
On 19th February is where my life changed, for the better – I found out I was pregnant. At first I had so many emotions going through my head. The main worry I had was, what if it happens again? Back in October I had a miscarriage which messed me up emotionally. I went in for my 12 week scan to find out I had an empty pregnancy sack, this was the most heart breaking news. I kept thinking what did I do wrong, was it something I ate, am I not meant to be mum etc. I have always wanted to be a mum and to have that taken away was awful.
When I found out I was pregnant again I just wanted to cry. I wasn’t as happy as I was before. It was only a few weeks before I found out I was pregnant where I told my partner I wasn’t ready to try again – little did I know I already had a baby inside me. My partner was brilliant and tried to reassure that everything will be okay and no matter what happens, we have each other. He really has been my rock.
6 weeks into the pregnancy I kept getting stomach pains. After speaking to the early pregnancy department, they scheduled me a scan a few days later. Having to wait for my name to be called out felt like a lifetime. I was so worried and was expecting them to tell me its bad news again. During the scan they confirmed there is a baby and it is around 6 weeks old. Everything looked normal and they couldn’t see any problems. I was advised it will just be growing pains and to take paracetamol to help with the pain. They said I shouldn’t be worried as it all looks okay but, that is easier said than done.
Up until my 12 week scan, I was still paranoid every day. Being careful what I ate and what I did. I kept saying to myself to not get too happy and attached as it could happen again. Yeah okay this time I have seen a baby but, what’s to say something else might go wrong? I didn’t feel like I could handle going through it again. I thought to myself that once I see the baby in the scan again, I will be less paranoid. Sitting in the waiting room at the hospital made me feel so sick. The memories of me waiting here before thinking everything was okay and to learn it wasn’t, got me scared. After being called in and the sonographer confirmed the baby is fine, I thought I should be relieved. Hearing that everything is fine didn’t make my paranoia get any better. I was still worried and thinking of the worse. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy that everything was okay with the baby but I was just so scared.
I decided to pretend that I was okay and happy. I thought that if I pretend everything is okay that I will then believe it and everything will be fine. I told close friends and family of the news and they were all happy for me. It is nice knowing I had other people around to help support me.
After speaking to my midwife, she recommended I speak to my doctor about how I felt mentally. He then recommended I contact a couple of companies for counselling. I have now had a couple of sessions of 1 to 1 counselling to help me talk about my worries. It helps being able to speak to someone who doesn’t know me and won’t judge me for how I feel. Everyone is different and have their own ways of dealing with things but for me, I find counselling helpful.
When it came to my 20 week scan, I wasn’t half as nervous as I was before. I was more nervous about finding out the sex this time. My partner and I told the sonographer we would like to know the sex in which; after a few moments of her checking a few things, she confirmed we will be having a baby boy.
We are both so excited and starting to get ready for little man’s arrival. We have been thinking of names and also looking at cots, prams etc. I feel I can now focus on the good things and not have to worry that something will go wrong. I don’t want to let my paranoia get the better of me, I want to enjoy the pregnancy and make the most of it.
As I hit 31 weeks, I started to get itchy hands and feet. I discussed this with my doctor and midwife in which, after a few blood tests they have confirmed I have obstetric cholestasis. I am now having to have blood tests every week and have my baby monitored for his heart beat and movement. At first I was worried but; I have got my head around this and thought I am not the only woman to get this. They have prescribed me with cream and allergy tablets to help with the itchiness. Even though this meant that I will not be able to get my water birth I hoped for as I am now consultant led, I know that I will be looked after in the hospital and I can get through anything with my partner.
I certainly feel ready to meet my little boy as the tiredness and aching back/neck kicks in. I only have a couple more weeks at work and then my maternity leave starts – I can’t wait! I still need to pack my hospital bag but I will get around to this soon! The nursery still needs to be decorated but, as he will be sleeping with us for the first 6 months, we are not rushing to get this done.
Having my partner and my parents with me through this journey has made it easier for me. I still get paranoid but, with the support of everyone I know I can get through this. Besides, having up and down days are the joys of our hormones in pregnancy! Bring on the labour ☺
Thank you to Sophie for sharing her pregnancy journey.
Sophie used Insight Healthcare to access counselling which is free to use with NHS – https://www.insighthealthcare.org/our-services/talking-therapies/types-of-therapies/counselling/
Sophie has since sent me a message to let me know there little man, Rowan arrived safely on 8th October. Isn’t he just beautiflul?
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